Tuesday, October 27, 2009

One Week

One week from today, the wait will be over.

One week from today, I will be tired from a restless night's sleep.

One week from today, I will put my "happy face" on so Ethan won't be scared.

One week from today, my eyes will be puffy and red.

One week from today, I will be full of confusing emotions. Love. Fear. Sadness. Guilt. Anticipation. Hope.

One week from today, I will hand my "baby" over to a stranger.

One week from today, regardless of any outcome, I will thank the surgeon for his knowledge and for the opportunities that he has given us.

One week from today, my children will be in school wondering if their brother is OK.

One week from today, I will be waiting with a knot in my stomach for any word on Ethan's condition.

One week from today, I will remember "the good times".

One week from today, my heart will ache in spite of it all.

One week from today, I will try to appear strong, but I will weep uncontrollably when I am alone.

One week from today, I will be on my knees begging the Lord for His mercy.

One week from today, I will be so proud of Ethan.

One week from today, he will be pink.

One week from today, I will shed countless tears.

One week from today, I will feel of your love and support.

One week from today, the pain will be too great, and I will feel alone.

One week from today, I will wish things were different.

One week from today, I will regret feeling this way knowing that it can always be worse (and has been for many families).

One week from today, I will watch my son struggle.

One week from today, I will see him confused and in pain.

One week from today, I will want to comfort him, and not know how.

One week from today, our hopes for the future will be bright.

One week from today, Ethan's heart will be as good as it ever will be.

One week from today, I will ask for your prayers, even if I don't know you.

One week from today, our lives will be touched by the kindness of family, friends, and strangers.

One week from today, I will cry because of it.

One week from today, my heart will be break, even though it's Ethan's heart which is truly broken.

One week from today, I will be comforted by my Heavenly Father.

One week from today, I will grieve for all of the mother's who have lost their "babies" too soon, and feel guilty because I still have mine.

One week from today, I will count my blessings and realize how much we are truly loved.

Please keep our family in your prayers this next week. We are anxious and hopeful that things will turn out well.

The countdown is on.

---Allison

15 comments:

The Simmons Family said...

There you go making me cry first thing in the morning!

One week from today... we'll be PRAYING!!!!

The Hood's said...

Oh Allison.... how those words spoke to my heart, and sent tears spilling from my eyes! We too will be praying for little Ethan, and for each of you! You are not alone, you will not be alone, and Ethan will be surrounded by countless angels!

Karalee said...

Allison, there are so many of those emotions that I can relate to and so many that I can not. My heart will be praying for you and your family constantly and I will remind you once again...I LOVE YOU!

Jenny Lincoln said...

My heart ached for you as I read this because I know this feeling and I will be feeling this jumble of emotions soon also. One week from today my thoughts and prayers with be with your family and your beautiful, strong Ethan!

The Taylors said...

We will be praying and thinking of your family. Sending happy positve vibes your way. You made me cry too!

Mike and Rebecca said...

Allison we have been praying that things will go as planned. I've never heard your feelings put so well together. Please let us know if we can help you in any way! We love your family, thanks for your friendship! keep us posted and when the time is right and we'll swing in for a visit.

Many Hugs,
Mike & Rebecca Patton

Dena said...

Allison, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I can't even imagine the emotions and pain that you are going through.

Jenn said...

Thanks for sharing all of those tender thoughts. We will be praying for you and wishing we were closer to give you hugs. Wishing you some great "good times" this week and a peace-filled speedy recovery next week. Missing you guys, and thinking of you.
the Pearson's

buddens said...

We're there for you! We'll be praying and we'll put your names in the temple out here too.

Kingsford Family said...

Allison,
That was so well put! I think the emotions leading up to surgery day are the worst, especially when it's not his first and you know what's ahead. Yes, next week we will be praying too and you WILL feel peace and comfort because of those prayers! Just hold on!
Michele

Blake and Jessica said...

I saw that you had been taken off the schedule at work and have been thinking about you guys. I have been inspired by reading your blog and others on HLHS. I will be thinking and praying for you and Ethan.

Tiffany said...

When I think of our blessings, your husband is definitely one of ours. At one of the lowest times of our lives, he was there for us and helped us through one of the hardest things we've ever gone through (which was NOTHING comparitively). That being said, your sweet little boy and the rest of you will be in our prayers this week. Love you all!

Fowers Family said...

Constantly in my prayers, I hope that it all goes well and your family. I have the upmost confidence in you and your strength is evident whenever I read your blog or I am around you (which isn't often lately...) You are amazing and I am confident all will work out with Ethan. Love ya, Jody

Jenn said...

Oh Al, my heart just aches for you guys! After finally catching up on these last few posts, I wish I had some magic comforting words. So many emotions all over the place and ALL justified!! Remember all our prayers and love are with you!! One of my favorite thoughts was, "soon this will all just be another memory!" Even though at the time I remember thinking, "Yeah, not soon enough!!"

~Rachel said...

Allison this is so beautiful!
It touched my heart as a mom who has had to go to places in her mind and heart that no mother should have to go, as a sister-in-law who wished I could be there to give you a hug and say it will be alright, as a sister who wants to take this trial away from my little brother, as an Aunt who wished her niece and nephews did not have to go through this, and as a daughter of God who knows HE WILL be with you, Tim, Spencer, Emily, Gavin and Ethan. Our prayers are will you all. Love you!