Ethan LOVES to stand up. Just after I took this picture, I set him down on the floor while I left the room and he FREAKED out. As soon as I stood him back up, he immediately stopped crying.
Here he is trying to get up and crawl. He's almost there.
He still prefers to roll around and do the army crawl to get to where he wants to go.
However, sometimes he becomes very frustrated when he gets stuck on all fours.
Keep trying Ethan!
Now, I realize that this may not sound like a huge accompishment, but every little milestone just seems bigger with Ethan. I was sitting on my bed yesterday with Ethan at my side when I realized he was sitting next to me. It seemed odd, because had I guessed, I would of said that I layed him down on the bed. Well, of course I had to rule out if I was in fact going crazy or not. So I layed him back down, and sure enough...............he sat up all by himself! I've been trying not to get too concerned with his physical skills but I have to admit that it still has been bugging me that he is not crawling yet. I was relieved to see that he is still developing and is not just in some rut. However, I do think that he will be crawling soon. He gets where ever he wants go by rolling or by a modified army crawl and he has even been trying to pull himself up to a standing position while in his crib. So, maybe he just needs a few more weeks and then I will be wishing he would stay in just one place. Be careful what you wish for, right?
---Allison
We decided that although cold, it was sunny enough yesterday to take Ethan and the kids to the park. Ethan, as you can see, LOVED the swings. He giggled, squealed, and grunted the entire time he was swinging. This is actually one of the first times he's been out of the house this entire winter. We were only at the park for about 10 minutes but it was so nice to feel the sun on our faces. In the 2nd picture you can see Ethan's silly single top tooth. The good news is that just this morning, his 2nd top tooth finally broke through. I am sure he will be feeling much better now. He has been working on that one for quite a while.
---Allison
Last night, Tim stayed home with the kids and I went out to dinner with my friend Jody. I had a GREAT time. The icing on the cake was that on my way home I was able to talk with my friend Carie who just moved to California. I have to say, it was just what the doctor ordered. I can't tell you how much visiting with them filled up my bucket. This winter (and staying cooped up with Ethan) has really taken it's toll on both my mental and physical health. I've gained weight and have had the blues. I have tried to stay positive and keep things in perspective (because believe me, I KNOW what a bad day is like). However, it is hard to stay motivated and get anything done when you feel so isolated. But, with that said, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. The days are getting longer and the weather is slowly getting better. In fact, when I was at work this last weekend, I weighed myself (fully expecting to have gained who knows how much) and was pleasantly surprised to find that I had lost 5 pounds without even trying! (I guess that just goes to show how much I actually have to lose). Anyway, today the weather has been great! I opened my blinds to let the sunshine in and just that alone gave me some energy to try and get the house clean. Now I am not unrealistic. I realize that it is going to take a little bit more than the sunshine to get this house in order, but it's a good start.
Today was Ethan's 9 month check-up and immunizations. It was by far the best check-up we've had thus far. He had a huge growth spurt and weighed in at 19 lbs 2 oz. As far as percentiles go (compared from his visit just last month) he went from the 20% in weight to the 90% and from the 25% in height to the 75%!!!! His head even grew and went from the 55% to 75%. It is good that he grew in all 3 areas because this shows that it is "true" weight and not just "water" weight (which would be a sign of congestive heart failure). I went into this appointment worried that he hadn't been getting enough to eat or that his heart may have not been functioning as well as it should be because I've been noticing that his legs have been looking skinnier. I guess it just turns out that he was just growing (and stretching). He grew 2 inches in this last month. I don't think I will ever stop worrying.
It is so hard sometimes to be a mother of a child with a such a serious and chronic health condition. With all of my other children, I never been nervous about well child visits and in fact, didn't think much of them at all. But with Ethan, I am always nervous that although he may be looking and acting well, that one of these days someone is going to pull the rug out from underneath me and my world will again turn on it's head. I realize that this is my own struggle and doesn't make a lot of sense, but I feel like I constantly have to remember all of the lessons that I learned when Ethan was born or else something bad will happen to remind me. I am SO grateful for Ethan and his progress and feel like I need to continually prove I am worthy to keep him here with me on this earth. In my mind I WANT to celebrate the good days (like today) but I hesitate letting myself get too comfortable with his good health and try not forget that he is sick. Please don't get me wrong. I LOVE it when I forget that he is sick or different from my other children. But I fear that if I get too good at blocking out all of my fears, that God will mistake that as me mastering my challenge and need to give me another one. I completely realize that this is irrational and logically makes ZERO sense but the fact is, is that I would do ANYTHING to keep him here with me and somehow I guess these mind games make me feel like I have some control in this situation. I just need to try and find a balance of enjoying the good days when we have them and yet be realisitic about the cards we have been dealt. I guess I just have to accept that being his mother means that I will constantly worry about him and that I will always feel indebted and blessed to have him in our home.
With all of that crazy talk being said, this week from February 7-14th is the national week for CHD (congential heart defect) awareness. There are so many children and families that have been affected by this disease which can manifest itself in many different forms. With that being said, we are very lucky to be a part of a local on-line support group which gives us encouragement and many people to talk to (who may have the same crazy and conflicting emotions that I have) who have been through many of these same experiences. This is a new group, and although it is growing very fast, it is still trying to get up on it's feet. This week has been full of fundraising by individual members of the group which will go towards helping other families of heart kiddos with meals, gift bags, and supplies while hospitalized as well as to aid in financing a summer camp to meet other families and heart patients within this group. There is a website for this group (http://www.intermountainhealinghearts.org/) which has the ability to take monetary donations (in honor of a specific heart kiddo if desired) to aid in this endeavor. This group is non-profit and is completetly volunteer based by the families themselves of heart children. Any donations would be greatly appreciated and are tax deductible. Please consider (and then make, ha ha!) a dontation.
---Allison
I love having some weekends off! Since the turn of the year, I have changed my work schedule and I am now only working every other weekend. This is the first time in 6 years that I haven't worked EVERY single weekend (except for special requests). It is so fun to be home with Tim and the kids.
Tim and Emily went on a "date" on Friday night. She and Tim had a fun time going to dinner at her favorite resturaut and shopping for some new clothes. (We told her not to expect the shopping part when she gets older or no one will ever want to take her out on dates.) She then was invited to sleep over at her Grandma Karen and Grandpa Gary's house with her cousin Bailee. They had a great time doing crafts and playing. When she came home on Saturday, she took a LONG nap. I am sure she needed it.
Spencer of course was asking when he and I can go on a date. I think in the next week or so I will take him to a fun Japanese steak house for dinner. He has never been to one and I think he would really enjoy it. He is such a good kid. When Emily was at her sleep over, the rest of us stayed up to watch a movie in my room. Tim fell asleep about 11 o'clock and Spencer and I stayed up to finish the movie. We then were up untill about 1 a.m. just talking about all sorts of stuff. We talked about everything from the importance of good friends to nuclear bombs. I love that he feels comfortable to talk to me. I really think he will grow up to be an honorable young man. He is a special boy.
Gavin is still keeping me on my toes at all times. It was just a few days ago he was climbing on the counters to get a cup and fell off. He fell on his shoulder and got a big bonk on his head when he hit the tile floor. He is fine, however, he also must of hit a cup on the counter on his way down because he has a circle bruise that looks like the ring of a cup brim on his upper arm. He is so fast and strong and I wish that he wasn't such a monkey. I can't wait untill the weather gets warm and I can take him outside to get some of his energy out at the park or riding bikes.
Tim and I are doing really well. The weather has been very cold and Tim's skin is rebelling. I decided to give him a "facial" on Saturday to exfoliate some of the dry skin on his forehead. This was in the form of a scrub and clay mask that he had to keep on until it dried. I of course had to ambush him and take a couple of funny pictures in his green mask. I was very tempted to post the pictures because although he had voiced his disapproval he also promised that he would not be mad. However, after some consideration, I have decided that although it would only be in good fun, I sure do love that man of mine and shouldn't exploit him for a good laugh.......sorry. (I love you Sweetie!)
One of my best friends, Carie, moved to California on Sunday (for a BOY!). We had a going away party for her on Saturday night with a bunch of gals from work. It was so much fun to have a crazy girl's night to send her off (not too crazy, of course). I am sure going to miss her. I have always said that when it comes to my friends, I don't have quantity but I for SURE have quality! (I miss you too Jody!)
So, all in all it was a fun weekend. We went to my parents house last night for the Super Bowl. We ate more than we should of and had a fun time watching the game and enjoying each others company. The only bad thing is that now I am sitting here in a messy house that I have to clean because it didn't get done this weekend. So, off I go. I hope you are all doing well. Have a great week!
---Allison
One day last week, Gavin got himelf completely dressed. The last time I had seen him he was just in his diaper and then the next time I saw him, he looked like this. He picked out his clothes from the closet, got them off the hangers, and then put them on all by himself. He even picked out his socks from the sock basket and put them on as well. As you can see, they weren't quite matched up yet.
Just a cute picture of Ethan in his swing. Also, I forgot to mention that when he got his RSV shots last Friday he weighed in at 18lbs 12oz. He is getting so big!
I was on the computer yesterday morning when I heard this loud banging sound coming around the corner. It turns out to be Gavin wearing Tim's shoes.
---Allison
No, we haven't dropped off the face of the earth. Our computer has just been down for the last week. It's been killing me to not be able to write and keep in touch with people. When I make posts I love getting comments because I know people are thinking about us and I don't feel so isolated and cooped up. In turn, I also love to read everyone else's blogs because, again, I feel like there is, in fact, a world outside my home. So needless to say, without my computer, I've been lonely. Tim finally did bring his laptop home from work for me to use in the meantime since this is my only source of "outside" entertainment and socializing (pathetic, I know). There is just not much else I can do until the weather gets better and I can start going outside again with Ethan.
We are all still doing relatively well. Ethan, however, was really grumpy last Wednesday and was just not acting like himself. I had considered that it could be because his 2nd front tooth has been trying to come through and is very tender. He's also had some congestion and a boogy nose for the last week. So being a nurse I always try and trouble shoot things before I just run my kids into the doctor. I listened to his heart rhythm and lungs and they sounded good. I checked his oxygen sats and temperature and they were both good. There was nothing that I could see that would be causing him to be so grumpy and upset. Regardless, I decided to take him in because more than a nurse, I am his mother and I still felt something was not right. I took him in and it turns out that he had a bad ear infection. (This happened about a month ago the last time he had a cold.) We were started on antibiotics and he has been feeling much better. So, again I count my blessings and know that of all the things that can go wrong with these little heart babies, I can definitely handle an ear infection.
Well, Spencer and Emily start back to school in the morning and I am hoping to get the house cleaned and back in order. They won't go off track again until April. They will be off the whole month and we are trying to plan a trip down to Texas. This of course all depends on finances and health, but so far, so good.
I will try and post again soon. Thank you all for your support and interest. I have been truly blessed to have such supportive family and friends. (Jody-call me, I lost your cell #)
---Allison
Ethan LOVES his johnny jump up! He will be in this and just jump and bounce his little (half) heart out for as long as we will let him.
This was taken last week. Gavin LOVES his picture taken. He is such a little poser!
This is Ethan sitting in his swing eating his favorite fruit puffs. I guess you can't see any of them in the picture. He must have eaten them all.
This was taken yesterday while Emily was holding Ethan as they were watching TV together. Emily LOVES to hold and play with Ethan. She is the one who is constantly asking if she can hold him. The moment just prior to this picture is what I was trying to capture. Ethan was snuggled right into Emily's arm and chest and was sitting so still and was so relaxed. It was only when I stood up to get the camera that I ruined the moment and Ethan had to sit up and find out what was going on.
Last night was a very restless and fussy night for Ethan (and therefore myself). His first upper front tooth (on the left) broke through a couple of days ago and he is now working on the other upper front tooth. He also was very stuffy last night and I had to bulb suction him a couple of times during the night and again this morning. I am hoping that his congestion is due to teething. We have all been healthy recently and so I don't know where he would have gotten anything from. Anyway, as always, I will keep a close eye on him and hope it doesn't turn into anything bigger.
The kids are enjoying time off track right now and for the most part have been behaving pretty well. I have been assigning them chores each morning and at that time we also decide what fun thing we would do for the day when their chores were completed. So far this has worked well. It eats up some of the time that if left unstructured, my kids would be running, screaming, fighting, and driving me crazy. It also gives us a guideline for the day and something for the kids to look forward to. I have to mention something Spencer said the other day that I thought was cute. He approached me and asked if when we were discussing the daily jobs for the kids if I could change the term from "chore" to "responsibility", because it sounded nicer. So when I am done with this entry I have to discuss with the kids their "responsibilities" for the day.
Well, as the title reveals, not much is happening in the Curtis household. I've been busy with work this last weekend with my shifts and a couple of meetings that I had to attend, but now I get some time off until my next rotating weekend comes up. The older kids are off track and out of school for the next 2 weeks. I am finally getting motivated to get my house cleaned and my life back in order, but I guess we'll see what the next couple of weeks have in store for me. It might have to wait until the kids go back to school.
Ethan has been staying very healthy. He got over his cold and is doing well. However, I am starting to get worried about his physical development. He hasn't been behind on any normal developmental goals thus far which is a real blessing considering what he has been through. He is now 8 1/2 months and he is not crawling yet. He will sit unassisted where you put him down, but he can not get into a sitting position by himself. He also seems to get "stuck" when he is on his tummy. I realize that his upper body strength has been a little lacking since we haven't had as much "tummy time" due to his surgeries. I've really been trying to work with him but he also is a very relaxed and mellow baby and doesn't seem to have a real drive to push him. He also has the unfair advantage of following Gavin who was scaling furniture at 7 months and full on walking at 10 months. I shouldn't worry too much, I know he will get there. I just hate to see him fall too much behind if there is something that I can do to help him. If any of you have any suggestions, PLEASE share. I would love to hear any ideas or exercises that you may have. (He is also starting to do more weight bearing and loves to be in his "Johnny Jump Up".) He does have another well-child visit in about 3 weeks and I will check with the Pediatrician to see if he is now in need of the Early Intervention program. ( The last time I had inquired about it he was meeting his goals, so I will check again). It is so hard to know what is heart related and what is personality driven. He is doing much better with eating (he has been fairly picky with his flavor choices recently and will throw up if peas even touch his tongue) and is beginning to self feed. He really likes his little star shaped fruit puffs.
Moving onto Gavin, he will be 3 in March and is flat out refusing to go potty in the toilet. He has done it in the past, just not consistently. But now he tells me that he wants to go "poo poo" in his diaper. He will also refuse to say that he is a "big boy" because he knows that the next sentence is that "big boys" go potty in the toilet. He has underwear that we've bought and he's had zero interest in them since day one. We've pointed out that his hero "Hercules" goes potty. And he has also recently seen his boy cousins ( similar in age) wearing "big boy underwear" and then just says that he wants to wear diapers. He is not motivated by treats or rewards. In fact, yesterday morning when I was changing his diaper I asked him if he wanted to try and go potty in the toilet for a fruit snack (which he will usually do anything for). He told me NO! and then did his business in his diaper just a few minutes later. I am not sure if there is some competition with Ethan and that he doesn't want to lose his place as my "baby" anymore? I don't know. Just in case, I did have a talk with him that even when he is a "big boy" he will always be my baby. But this too did not seem to effect his decision. He obviously has a mind of his own and can be fairly stubborn. Again, if any of you have any suggestions than what I've already tried, PLEASE let me know. I am not sure if I should drop the subject completely for a while, keep it mainly on the back burner but continue to offer the toilet as an alternative, or if I should keep working at it and make it a daily issue. Let me know what any of you think.
If nothing else, wish me good luck! Thanks in advance!
---Allison
Now I promise I am not going crazy. I realize that I've already posted a montage of our year in 2007. However, when I created it, there were some pictures that I couldn't find and it was really bugging me. I have since found them and so I of course had to update it and change a few things around. Also, (because I am not very computer literate), I didn't want to risk losing both of them when I tried to replace one with the other. So, due to this fear, I now have 2 montages for 2007. If you don't want to watch it again, that's OK, just don't click on the "play" button. I know that you probably won't be able to tell much of a difference. Oh well.
----Allison
This is my youngest sister, and the "baby" of the family, Angela.
This is my brother Neal who is just 14 months younger than myself.
And this is my other sister Karalee with her huband (Cody) and daugher (April).
Well, in keeping with the theme of late posts, I am just catching up from Monday night. We spent the evening eating at my Parent's house with all of my brothers and sisters. We made home made won tons and played Guitar Hero and Rock Band. It was a very fun night of playing and visiting. It was a great way to say good-bye to 2007.
With that being said, I really look forward to what this next year will bring. I don't dare speculate because ANYTHING can happen. As with most people, my goal is to lose some weight. Now that there is no current excuse for my comfort eating, I need to do better at living in the moment and seeking less solace in my peanut M&M's. Also, we have a goal as a family to read the Book of Mormon.
I pray that this year our family and friends will be blessed with happiness and health. Happy New Year!!!!!!
---Allison
Emily (6) drew this picture in school of Ethan lying in my bed with the caption of what her "Christmas Wish" this year would be. It breaks my heart to see the feelings and fears that my children have to face at such a young age.
Gavin couldn't wait to ride on his new "Diego" bike although I am not sure why he is wearing Tim's hat.
All Emily wanted for Christmas was a digital camera. Santa brought her this pink one which she loves. All morning we had to teach Emily camera "etiquette" when she kept trying to take pictures of everyone in their underwear. She wants me to post some of her pictures that she has taken, so watch for those coming soon!
Yes, Spencer received his beloved Nintendo DS. His cousin Katy sent him a game for this system which he opened on Christmas Eve. We told him not to open the game until he found out if he got the system or not so we could exchange it if needed. He was sweating bullets until Christmas morning and was of course pleasantly surprised.
This tent is one of the things that I bought while shopping on-line. It is currently not being used due to it's size but I think it will be fun to play in when the bonus room or yard is finished. 
Ethan's first Christmas! Who knew that he would be doing so well. It was probably the best Christmas to date that I can think of. I can't help but be aware of all of the blessings and "real" gifts that we've received.
---Allison
I just thought I would post a couple of pictures that show how big Ethan is getting (Gavin also loves getting his picture taken). He is sitting up all by himself now (he can't get into a sitting position all on his own but will stay sitting if you put him that way). And for having his oxygen levels in the mid 80's, I think his coloring looks pretty good. He has a cardiology appointment tomorrow. I will post again after our visit with the doctor. I hope they don't find anything surprising. I don't think they will, I think he is doing really well.
This is just a shot that I was trying to get to show off his 2 new front teeth. He is such a cutie pie! He has such a fun personality. He is so happy and content. He is very good to do things on his own but also loves to be held and played with. We've been doing a lot more tummy time with him to try and get his upper body stronger. In fact, he will scoot on the floor if you give him something solid to push his feet against.
We are so blessed to have him in our family. I don't know why this had never occurred to me before but I had read somewhere that the oldest living child with his condition is only 14 years old (not counting transplants). I think this surprised me because the doctors have always told us the goal was to get him to his teenage years to early 20's before he will need a heart transplant. I guess I never put 2 and 2 together that this really is just a goal and it has only been in the last little while that his heart defect wasn't a complete death sentence. With that being said, it only makes sense that any living survivors wouldn't be very old. So because of this, things really are still developing and we are in uncharted territory. I guess I have always looked at the potential instead of the actual reality. Regardless, he is here with us now....... just like he was meant to be.
---Allison
I have been surfing around at different blogs and care pages lately and came across this poem that a mother of a heart baby wrote. However, I don't know who the author is. Also, I did make some slight revisions. I thought it was really special and thought I would share it with you.
One day my world came crashing down,
I'll never be the same.
They told me that my child was sick.
I thought, "am I to blame"?
I don't think I can handle this.
I am really not that strong.
It seemed my heart was breaking.
I have loved him for so long.
I will not give up on this child.
I will listen to your advice.
I will give my child any chance.
No matter what the price.
I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.
I'll even use that feeding tube.
My child must survive!
Will he need a lot of therapy?
Will he gain the needed weight?
Please God, help me do this.
I will accept our fate.
When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.
How many parents would love that sound.
Tomorrow I will be kinder.
As another Angel earns his wings,
I run to my child's bed.
I watch him sleep for quite a while.
I bend down and kiss his head.
I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.
I look to You wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways....no matter how I try.
And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.
My mind says savor each moment he's here,
but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!
From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.
From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.
From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.
With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.
For all who see that faded line.
I look to them and smile.
You see my child is loved so much.
I would face ANY trial.
That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).
God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).
A heart mom is always a heart mom.
Now wise beyond her years.
For those who have angels in heaven,
Our hearts share in all of your tears.
Every day I will try and remember,
I was chosen for him (and no other).
I will always embrace that beautiful day.......
When I became a "Heart Mother".
I am sitting at the computer looking through my past blog entries and recounting all of the events that have taken place this past year. Gavin is supposed to be taking a nap but instead comes up to me and makes the funniest comment. I guess this was a game that he made up and wanted to play. I asked him what I should do. He proceeded to explain, "I say please.......you say NO!" What a bad rap I must have!
---Allison
