Oficially Walking!!

OK, so Ethan didn't just start walking today. He actually started trying it out a couple of weeks ago but it seems that he has now gotten a hold of it and tries to walk everywhere. He is still in that tipsy stage where you hope he doesn't fall and break something. But he is definitely proud of himself and can walk the length of any room and even on our squishy bed.

I wish his developmental testing had been this week instead of 2 weeks ago because I know he would have scored a lot higher. He was right on target for his cognitive development (which I thought he would be lower because he only says one word) and he was at an 11 month old level for his motor skills (he was 13.5 months old at testing). I was really surprised because I would have placed him higher on his motor skills and lower on his cognitive. I know that his comprehension is good, but I do worry about his speech being delayed. She reassured me that this is normal after having major surgery so soon after birth and then subsequent surgeries. Also, she said he scored lower on his motor skills because he had only been walking for a few days at that point and could not get to a standing position without having to pull up on something. So anyway, now his is walking like a mad man and can stand up wherever and whenever he wants. At times he even tries to run away from you, but he soon falls flat on his face.

I've been meaning to get some video of him walking now that he has met another milestone. So in the next few days I will try and get this done. I hope this weekend finds you all well. Love you all!

---Allison

Saturday, June 21, 2008

This last week has been really busy. I've had appointments of various sorts everyday this week. We've been up to PCMC twice to check Ethan's labs, blood pressures, and adjust his medication doses. His cardiologist feels that the dose of enalapril he is on now is a good maintenance dose. However, he does want us to come back in a month for a clinic visit and to have a quick ultrasound to re-check his heart function. He had originally told us that we would do this in 6 months, so I am unsure as to why he changed his mind. I am hoping that it is only to see if the medication is helping and not because he is overly concerned. I am okay with it. I would rather have them check it more often than risk missing something. Ethan still continues to have problems with vomiting. In fact, it seems that I can't keep up on my regular laundry because the machines are always full of bed sheets, blankets, towels, or soiled clothing. But as long as they don't think it is happening because of his heart, we will just keep doing what we have been and hope that he grows out of it soon. Thanks to all of you who keep up on us (especially since I haven't been as good about writing as frequently). You really don't know what it means to feel like people care and support you. Thank you.

----Allison

Echo Results

So yesterday and today have been spent at PCMC for Ethan's end of study visit for the enalapril study he was in. Yesterday was the echo. The cardiologist does not think that the vomiting is related to his heart. However, the only thing he could say about his heart function is that it is "OK". I've pressed him a couple of times as to what that really means. He basically said that some doctors might say it didn't look very good and that others would agree with him that it is "OK". He said that it didn't look "bad" but he wished it looked better. I have to admit that I was a little bummed about the results. Ethan has been doing really well lately and so I guess I was hoping for at least a "good" echo. But I guess "OK" is better than "bad". He said that we will probably do another echo in about 6 months to see how he is doing.

Ethan also had his developmental testing today and we should be contacted either later today or early next week with those results. I don't think there should be any surprises with those results. I think he is fairly average in most things.

So now that Ethan is no longer in the study, the cardiologist wants to put him on enalapril for real (he may have already been on it but we won't know until the study is over in a couple of months). So we will start this in the morning and check his pressures at our pediatrician's office. Then we have to take him back to PCMC next week for anthother blood pressure check and possible dose adjustment and lab work.

So to summarize the last couple of days I would say that they have been "OK". Hopefully with these medication adjustments we can get some better news next time around.

---Allison

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I don't know what my problem has been lately. I don't think I've ever gone this long without a blog update before. I guess no news is good news, right?

In my defense, we've been very busy. My sister, Angela got married last Wednesday. She of course looked beautiful and it was a fun night. Also, this last Saturday, we started putting in our yard. I had worked the night before and got to sleep around 6:30 that morning. I was able to sleep till about noon. However, I started feeling guilty and so I got up to help Tim, my dad, and my uncle Brent out in the yard. As soon as I got out there we began rolling out the grass. It lasted pretty much all day long. We did get some help from a few of my brothers and a couple of neighbors which definitely helped. I didn't realize how physically exhausting putting in a yard was. I honestly could hardly move that night, but, it was SO worth it. I can't wait until it's done and the kids and I can finally go out and play in our yard.

This week was supposed to be the developmental testing and sedated echo for Ethan. However, they called me Monday night and told me that it had to be changed until next Thursday and Friday. I was really hoping to get it done sooner, but I guess there is not much I can do about it.

Ethan is still vomiting. He does it at least once or twice a day. His energy level is still really good which keeps me from panicking too much. In fact, today I was making lunch for Gavin and Ethan was sitting on my be watching T.V.. I don't worry about him falling off because he is scared of the edge. However, when I went to go and check on him, he was no longer on the bed or even in the room for that matter. He had climbed off of my bed onto the bench at the foot of the bed and then onto the floor. He then crawled down the hall and climbed up 6 stairs into the bonus room where he was just playing with his toys like a big boy. As soon as he saw me, he started bouncing up and down with a great big smile. You could tell he was SO proud of himself. And although this means my luxury of keeping him in one spot is over, I am proud of him too.

---Allison

Monday, May 19, 2008

So I guess I didn't realize that a week had gone by since my last post. I guess I have been pretty busy.

This last week we took Ethan into the cardiologist to check out a few things that had been bothering me. His oxygen levels have been lower (76-79% at night) and his lips have been looking blue at random times during the day. Also, he is not gaining weight like he used to. However, the main thing that made me call for an appointment is that he had been vomiting anywhere from 10-60 minutes after he would eat. This had been going on for about 10 days and would happen up to 3-4 times a day. Now this is a totally new development and just seemed odd. The Dr. said that he wasn't too concerned by just the looks of Ethan, but that all of these things were worth looking in to. So anyway, they did a chest x-ray and a quick echo to check his heart size and function. Both tests looked OK. The good news is that his tricuspid valve is not leaking as much as before. However, the not so good news was that the Dr. was hoping his heart function would have improved since his last echo was done at 5 days post surgery (and will usually improve with healing), but looked about the same. So not good but not too bad. Also, his blood pressure is still high (systolic around 112-115's) and they would like it in the 90's. So, to make a long story short, they will move his sedated echo from mid July to the 1st week in June. They will be able to check out some more things in debth and will also follow up on his blood pressures. Since the appointment, he has pretty much stopped throwing up (except for when he gags himself) and I have really been trying to up his calorie intake during the day. At this point, I am not too concerned but I will be curious to see what his sedated echo reveals.

This weekend Tim has been out of town. He went to Denver for his cousin's wedding. I wish I could have gone with him but I had my sister's bridal shower on Saturday and needed to stay home. It was just a quick trip. He left on Friday and arrived home this morning. I was able to see him a little while before he went to work. By the sounds of it, he had a really great time. He truly loves visiting with his family. (He tends to get a little lonely since he is the only one in Utah.) He is such an amazing husband and I always miss him anytime he is away. I am glad he is home.

---Allison

Monday, May 12, 2008

So it has really been a busy week or so. We celebrated Ethan's birthday. I had a fun time watching my youngest brother's road trip through all 48 states (and all of the fun publicity in the news about it). We attended an open house for my oldest brother who is going to Saudi Arabia this week for 6 months. We celebrated mother's day (which was really a nice day). And tonight we are celebrating my nephew Austin's birthday (yesterday) and my birthday (tomorrow) tonight at my house. Also, this week I will be preparing to throw a bridal shower for my sister this weekend at my house.

So with all of this happening, there have been a few things that I need to update on. Last week I took Ethan and Gavin for their well being check ups. Ethan weighed 20 lbs 3 oz which puts him in the 10% for weight and was 29.5 inches long (40Th% for height). And Gavin was in the 75% for both height and weight. I was disappointed with Ethan's weight gain because he had dropped in percentiles so much from his last appointment. It turns out that at his last appointment they made a mistake and he was not in the 90% for weight but was really only in the 30Th%. So he did in fact drop, but not as much as it appeared. Ethan is scheduled for some developmental testing and another ECHO in July. I am anxious to see how the Md's feel he is doing. I am hoping I can get him circumcised then as well, but I still need to find out some more information about it.

On a sadder note, my sister Karalee's son Austin (the one who's 7Th birthday was yesterday) has just been diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy (MD). This is of course is devastating news and she is having a difficult time. She has only 2 kids and has been trying to get pregnant for a while now. It seems so unfair that not only is she having a difficult time getting pregnant, but now she finds out she will watch her only son fight a losing battle. I know some of you know her (and even those of you who don't), but I know that when things have been difficult with Ethan, I have been comforted by the many prayers that have been offered in my behalf. At this time I ask that you will add her and her family to your prayers. They've traveled a rough road and it won't be getting any easier. They really could use all of the prayers that they can get.

The Great American Road Trip!

I don't know if any of you have heard about this on the news, but 1 of the 3 drivers is my brother Adam. Good luck guys!

---Allison

What a Year!!!

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Today is Ethan's 1st birthday!!

In anticipation of today, I've spent a lot of time reflecting on our experiences this last year. As many of you know, Ethan was not a "planned" pregnancy. However, we were very excited when we found out I was pregnant and we truly felt like he was a gift from God. Initially, I doubted my ability as a mother to raise 4 children but I felt that God would not send me another child if he didn't trust me enough to raise and care for him. It wasn't until Ethan was born that I realized how much responsibility my Heavenly Father has entrusted me with. I can't put into words how blessed our family has been to have Ethan in our home. When he was born, our family was complete.

I've created this montage in honor of Ethan who has worked so hard to make his mark in this world. As I have mentioned before, it is a little long (about 10 minutes). The first 2 songs in this montage are extra special to me because I used to play them in the hospital while I sat at his bedside and stroked his tiny head. (At the time I couldn't hold him and it was the only spot I could caress that didn't have protruding wires or tubes.)

I will never forget all of the prayers, love, and support that was given in our behalf during this last year. I want you all to know that we couldn't have done it without you. I pray that together, we will have many more years to celebrate.

I hope that you take the time to watch and honor this amazing milestone with us.

---Allison

Daily Grind

So now that the vacation is over, I've really been trying to get the house in order so that I can get some spring cleaning done. Spencer and Emily started back in school today which should help. As most mothers know, it's hard to get anything done when the messes keep following you.

I am hoping I can get it in pretty good shape by Thursday, so I can take that day off and enjoy it. Believe it or not Ethan will be turning 1 that day! We have been so blessed this year that it is hard to express in words. Because of this, I've made (another) montage. I know you are probably getting sick of them by now, but you can't do it for just 1 child without doing it for the others. This one however is different. It will tell the story of his first year and is longer than the other ones (about 10 minutes). We've had a big year and it was hard to compact it into just a few minutes. So with that being said, watch for it on Thursday.

We celebrated Tim's, Emily's, and Ethan's birthday's (along with a couple of others) on Sunday with my extended family. We had a BBQ and a nice evening of cake, presents, and visiting. I am sure we will do something special on Thursday to recognize Ethan and his journey. I am not sure at this point what we will do but we definitely need to celebrate. First birthday's are always fun and important, but due to the circumstances, this one just seems extra special. Anyway, enough stalling, I need to get back to getting the house clean. I hope today finds all of you well.

---Allison

Texas Pics

This is at the stockyards when they are taking the bulls out for a stroll. This is one of the things we liked to do when we lived in Texas. The bulls are fun to see but there are also some tourist shops that we were able to get some fun souvenirs in.

Spencer and Gavin are having a fun time "shooting" the bulls with their play guns that they bought at one of the tourist shops. Gavin was really getting into it.

We went to Matt's house (Tim's brother) for a day of visiting, water games, and of course a great BBQ. It was fun to sit outside in the warm sun and let the kids run around in the country. Gavin got bit by some fire ants but it didn't seem to slow him down for very long. Ethan loved sitting in this swing.

While in Texas we stayed at Tim's parent's house. I was on the computer when Gavin found these glasses on the desk. I am pretty sure they belong to Larry. I think Gavin thought he looked pretty cool.

The night before we left, we had a birthday party for Emily. Tim's family were very generous throughout our entire vacation as well as at Emily's party. She got some fun gifts. Again, it was nice to spend time with all of Tim's family.

There were so many other fun things that we did while we were in Texas that I didn't take my camera to. We spent a fun night at my friend Donna's house with her family and another friend of mine, Stephanie. I worked so much the year that we lived in Texas, the only friends that I made were people that I had worked with. I have to say, these 2 women are AMAZING nurses and I have the utmost respect and admiration for them. To this day, I try and remember their example to me as leaders. It was so nice to visit and reminisce. There are just some people you never forget.

I don't know why I didn't bring my camera here but we went to the Fort Worth zoo which was SO fun. Emily loves white tigers and was really excited to go see the one they had. Gavin had never been to a zoo before and I don't think he understood that there were REAL animals there. The look on his face when he saw the animals for the first time was priceless. It was a look of awe and excitement. It just so happened to be the monkey exhibit and they were entertaining to watch. Also at the zoo was a bird exhibit where the kids could feed the birds. The birds would fly all around them and then sit on the food sticks they were carrying to eat the birdseed stuck with peanut butter. All of the kids had fun doing this. Although, I have to admit it was fun watching Gavin chase the birds trying to get them to land on his food stick. He was laughing and laughing and obviously had a great time.

Tim and I, Spencer and Emily, and Ashley and Katie (cousins) went to Six Flags. Tim's sister Rachel was kind enough to watch Gavin and Ethan the entire day for us. Again, I wish I had taken my camera but I thought it would be a pain to carry around. Emily's first amusement ride EVER was the Titan. It was 25.5 stories high and went 85mph. She got off and was on an adrenaline high! She was jumping and throwing her arms in the air with shouts of approval and glee. She is such a dare devil. She was crying when there were a couple of rides she couldn't go on because she was too small. In fact, we left the park to go to lunch at Poncho's (an all you can eat Mexican restaurant). On the way back to Six Flags, Emily states she doesn't feel well. Can you see where this is going? We were looking for parking when she began hurling in her lap. She began crying, not because she didn't feel good but because she didn't want this to keep her from going back to the rides. Tim and Emily went home to get cleaned up and then met back up with us later that evening. Spencer on the other hand has announced that he is not a "thrill seeker" and so he preferred the smaller rides. I kept up with the kids pretty well, but I have to admit, toward the end, I began to get motion sickness on the bigger rides and would stay back with Spencer. All in all, it was and amazingly fun day.

We had a great time and the kids all want to go back soon. We have decided that we can commit to going at least every other year to visit. Gavin asked Tim just this morning if we could go back to Texas for "a sleepover". I wish it was closer. We can't wait to go back.

---Allison

Happy Birthday Emily!

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Today is Emily's 7th birthday. It seems so crazy to me how much she has grown. She is an amazing girl. She has such a spunky and fun personality. She is not afraid of anything and knows what she wants. She is very sweet and tries to please us. She is great with Ethan and I know she will be a fantastic mommy one day. I am so blessed to have her as my only daughter. We love you Miss Em!

---Allison

A Little Fib

So I have to admit, I made a little fib. When I mentioned (a couple of posts ago) that Tim's airline arrangements had been messed up, it applied to our whole family. I didn't want to post that our whole family was going to be out of town for 9 days (and that there would be a nice empty house to target). So with that being said, we just flew back into Salt Lake this afternoon after spending some much needed time off in Texas.

First of all I have to say we all had a great time. We played at parks, went to the zoo and six flags, went to the Rangers game, visited the stockyards, had BBQ's, celebrated Emily's birthday (which is this Wednesday), and spent a lot of time just visiting with family and friends. The weather was great (with the exception of 1 night of severe storms and Tornado sirens wailing which just added to our adventure). The weather was in the 70's and 80's the whole time and we all got our share of the sunshine. We had a wonderful time.

I can't say that getting to Texas was as much fun. When we were leaving SLC, we had put the 2 older kids in charge of a couple of bags, only to find out while waiting in line to check in that the bags were left in the car. We called my mom to bring back the bags and Tim left the kids and I to go and meet her. I kept on going just to keep things moving along. It took a long time to get through security because they placed the kids and I in a glass box with a security guard while they went through all of our carry on bags. The kids and I finally made it to our boarding gate with literally 1 minute to spare. However, because we were the last ones there, we didn't have any seats on the plane because they had over booked the flight. I seriously about started to cry. Luckily, they were able to get enough people to volunteer to stay behind that we were FINALLY able to get on the plane. It was only after we had our tickets in hand that Tim was able to meet back up with us with the carry on baggage that had been left behind and missed all of the drama. Once we got on the plane, our flight was great. The kids did really well and Ethan slept most of the flight. It's nice to say that our flight home was smooth and there was not much drama.

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who support us and keep up on our day to day happenings. I will post pictures when I am done unpacking.

---Allison

No More Meal Tickets

I've been weaning Ethan from breastfeeding for the last few weeks now. And I have to admit that I've been really looking forward to finally having my body back. I NEVER lose weight while I breastfeed and I try to not take any medications. This has been especially important with Ethan because I didn't want to have any medication interactions between the meds he is already on and any that may pass through my breast milk. Recently, He hasn't been happy about my decreased milk supply which is part of the reason why he has been so fussy at night. However, He was sick a week or so ago which was kind of the clincher as to the decline of my milk supply and the end of our breastfeeding days.

So, anyway, I just got Ethan down for a nap and I think this is the last time I will ever breastfeed him again. You might think this is great news but, surprisingly, I am sitting here in tears. I know, I know, you all think that I am crazy. I've always felt a little sentimental with my other kids when I was done nursing. But there has always been an equal amount of excitement to balance it out. However, with Ethan, you have to understand that not only do we plan on him being our last child (which it's always a little bit harder when you think it's your last), but, when he was born this was literally the ONLY thing that I could do for him. It was so hard when I couldn't hold my baby, I wasn't sure if he knew who I was, he didn't yet know my smell or voice, and I didn't feel I could comfort him in any way. I couldn't even do the small things for him like change his diaper.

I had been told by some of the doctors not to be surprised if my milk never came in due to the stress of our situation. I remember becoming very determined to do this ONE thing that nobody else could do for my baby. I religiously pumped every 3 hours and I would even set the alarm to pump in the middle of the night. I really worked hard to make it happen. It was only after much persistence that his doctors even let me try and breastfeed just a few days before he was discharged from the hospital. Usually heart babies can't breastfeed because they tire too quickly and don't get the nutrition they need. However, I think Ethan and I made a great team. He is (to date) the only HLHS baby to ever be discharged (post Norwood surgery)without a feeding tube.

I promise, I am not one of those le letche--shove it down your throat kind of women. I only breastfed my 1st 2 children for 4 months, and although I did breastfeed Gavin until a year old, it was mainly because HE liked it so much (and it did save us some money). Now, I obviously agree that breastfeeding is what is best for the baby but I completely think it is the mother's choice in what she feels is best for her and her baby. But with that being said, this was VERY important to me to give him the best nutrition possible under his circumstances and to help keep him from getting sick through the winter months and his 2nd surgery.

I am so grateful for the opportunity that I had to feel like I did something that mattered to him. I will miss feeling like he needs me.

---Allison

Thursday, April 10th

So today started out with a bang. Last night we found out that Tim's flight on American Airlines was cancelled and we were up until 2am trying to figure out his options. (We finally were able to get a flight with Delta the next day.) When we were finally able to get to bed, Ethan woke up. He was very restless, he was crying, and of course he was tossing and turning in our bed for the next few hours trying to get comfortable. I finally took him into the living room around 5 am so Tim could sleep since he had to work in the morning. Ethan was up for about 45 minutes before he and I finally fell asleep on the couch. I then had to wake up 2 hours later to take Emily to the dentist to get a tooth pulled. Which, by the way, she did really well with.

Those who know me know I LOVE my sleep. How long do you think I can keep running on 3, maybe 4 hours of choppy sleep? Now don't misunderstand me, It's not that I can't do it (I've done it many times before) but who wants to? So, the day has just begun and I am already exhausted. I still have to get our laundry started, (which there is a mountain of), go to a 2 hour staff meeting, figure out a way to get Emily to her soccer game while I am gone, and do a service project for Scouts tonight. Also, Lost is on tonight, so I have to make sure there is time for that, Yeah! (I hope it's not another re-run). I am hoping that in between all of this I can maybe catch a nap. Do you think the laundry could wait until tomorrow? Anyway, it's not going to be a bad day (I promise I KNOW what a bad day really is), it will just be a busy day where I simply go through the motions and hope things run smoothly. Wish me luck!

---Allison

Sunday, April 6th

I just wanted to let you know of a sweet little baby who has captured our interest and hearts. Her name is Gracie and she is just over 2 weeks old. She has HLHS just like Ethan but has ran into some major setbacks. She has an amazing family who have kept their faith and have had to make some difficult decisions. Gracie is currently defying all the odds. Although she is not out of the woods by any means, she is currently stable which is a miracle in and of itself. Gracie and her family could use as many prayers in their behalf as they can get. You can read their story through the link titled "Gracie" under our "heart friends".


---Allison

Old Look Again

OK, so as you can see I've reverted back to my original blog look. I still haven't found anyone who can show me how to change my background to a cute one and still keep the sidebar pictures and widgets. Oh well, I guess it really doesn't matter much anyway.

So as far as the home front goes, we are are still just trying to get over the colds that we've all had for the last week. Up until last night, Tim has been superman and hasn't been sick. But it seems that it may have caught up with him and he is now starting to feel a little yucky. I hope we can all get over this soon.

On a funner note, we finally finished our bonus room this week. We got carpet on Tuesday and the kids just love running around in a big open room. It has been really nice because they are off track and get bored easily. It's still too cold to go outside and play, so this is a welcomed new play area for them.

Well, this is my weekend to work, so my entire goal today is to try and get a nap in. It's been a bad week for sleep. With the exception of last night (I got to bed around 11pm), I haven't been asleep before 1am and once it was 2am and one night it was even 3am. The reasons for no sleep are all different but it has usually been because either I was sick or Ethan was sick. It's hard to sleep when you are stuffed up and can't breathe (or coughing, or a sore throat, you get the picture).

I hope that this weekend will be a fun one for you all. Take care.

---Allison

Happy Birthday Tim!

So today is Tim's big 35! (of course I have to point out that he is now halfway to 70, ........ yikes!)

For all of you who know Tim, I don't have to go into great detail about how amazing he is and how well he treats (and spoils) me. He has a sharp mind and a kind heart. He is thoughtful, hard working, funny, balanced, sensitive, patient, and grounded. He is truly one of a kind and I could never have dreamed of having a better husband to share my life with. Happy Birthday Sweetie!!

I love you!!

It's Going Around

So I guess this house is full of a bunch of sickies. Ethan started running a fever Wednesday night (101.1 axillary) which really concerned me. His oxygen levels were in his "normal" range but low for him (79-82%). His respiration's were high (60's - 70's) and his heart rate was also high (160's). He had a cough and a yucky nose and just wasn't feeling good. So, I called his pediatrician (at 10:30 p.m.) and she said just to let the dose of Tylenol that I had just given him have a chance to work. She said that if he continued to breath this way when the fever broke or if his fever wouldn't come down, that I should take him to PCMC's ER. Luckily, he responded well to the Tylenol and I just watched the clock faithfully until it was time for his next dose.

Even though he was looking and acting better the next morning, I still took him into the doctor's office just to make sure there wasn't something more going on. I was pretty sure it was just a virus because all of the other kids have had mild coughs, sore throats, and congestion, but none of them have had a fever. So, again, I just wanted to set my mind at ease that there wasn't ear infections or pneumonia or whatever else that could be going on. Well, to say the least, it was just a virus and he seems to be doing better today. He doesn't have a fever anymore and he is just mainly snotty and clingy.

Now, when Gavin woke up from his nap today, he said "I'm not feeling very good" and sure enough he has a fever. Also, Emily came home from school today and went to sleep. I wouldn't be surprised if she too woke up with a fever. I guess we'll see. Hopefully, we can just all get feeling better soon.

So, with all of that being said, our insurance denied Ethan's last RSV shot. They said it is no longer RSV season and they wouldn't pay for his last dose. We did have the "option" (ha, ha) of paying for it out of pocket with a price tag of $2800.00. This really frustrates me because RSV season is NOT over and Ethan has been sick recently with respiratory issues. Anyway, we appealed it and our Dr. spoke with them and they still denied us. I was REALLY wanting to get that last dose which would cover him while we traveled and until the RSV season was officially called by PCMC. It's kind of crazy that the insurance company can over rule our physician and the care she feels Ethan needs. What can I say? I guess I should be grateful that he got the doses that he did.

I hope that all of you out there are doing and feeling well.

---Allison

Gavin, Gavin, Gavin

What a beautiful sight. I sometimes don't know what to do with this precocious (yet very sweet) little child.

We have been finishing our bonus room above our garage and so there have been a few small tools left here and there around the house. I honestly put them "up" when I find them. The only problem is that Gavin is a monkey and will climb (literally) to the top of any shelf. He gets into the pantry, the closets, the cupboards above the washer and dryer, and he can also get anything on the top of the fridge. He also knows how to unlock any door (from the outside). This morning before Tim could even get to work, Tim had already caught him trying to cut the cords to Spencer's PlayStation system. And just yesterday (I think), I caught him putting my keys into the power socket (which by the way, I have protective covers in, he just takes them out).

Well today, I was walking down the hallway when I heard my bedroom door slam shut. Of course, when I tried to open the door, Gavin had already locked it. When I finally got it open, I asked him what he was doing. He proceeded to pull out a screwdriver from behind his back. I took it away and didn't think much of it as I didn't see any immediate damage.

A little while later I had gone outside to get the mail. Upon returning inside the house, I was looking down at the mail and saw some screws on the floor. After further inspection, it turns out he had been taking off the light switch covers in the living room and hallway. Honestly, I am not an absentee mother. I really don't know how or when he does these things.

Well, to say the least, he was put in time out and told to take a nap (see the beautiful picture above) which I think I needed more than he did.

---Allison

Poor Baby

This weekend was my rotating work weekend. My shift went really well and I was excited to come home and get in bed. When I sat down to feed Ethan, I looked at his face and he looked like he had been beat up. I took him in the bathroom so I could see him in the light and he wouldn't open his eyes. They looked like they could be oozing but he also had a crusty nose that the drainage could have come from. Well, I knew that it was most likely an eye infection, but because of his last appointment and all of the small things that were just a little off, my mind began to race and I started to panic a little. They have always told us to watch for puffy eyes and signs of retaining fluid as this could mean he is going into congestive heart failure. Well, these were definitely puffy eyes. So, I called PCMC and talked with the cardiologist on call and they said just to see our normal pediatrician when their office opened and rule out conjunctivitis before we brought him into the ER.

I took him into the office as soon as it opened (I've had only 2 hours of sleep at this time since working my 12 hour graveyard shift). I am glad I didn't take him into PCMC because after he woke up and I could see his eyes, I was pretty sure that it was simply an eye infection. They were really red and they were definitely draining icky stuff.

After he was assessed by the doctor, she felt comfortable that it was just an infection as well. (He weighed 19lbs 10 oz on their scale). We were given a prescription for eye drops and sent on our way. I was supposed to go back into work tonight but they were nice enough to take me off of the schedule so I could get some sleep and take care of Ethan (and to also enjoy Easter).

He is so sad to look at. You can tell he just isn't feeling well. He is very fussy and just wants me (and only me) to hold him. I am so glad that I didn't have to work tonight. Tim would have really had a rough night. Let's pray these eye drops work soon!

---Allison

Study Visit

Ethan, Gavin, and myself just got back from PCMC for one of Ethan's follow up visits for the study drug (enalapril) that he is on. It was an easy appointment (no lab draws or x-rays) which is why I even attempted to take Gavin along.

They took his blood pressure which was a little high for him (114/60). It could be high simply because he's outgrown his dose. The study nurse will call us tonight after shes given the cardiologist all of his new statistics and let us know if we need to increase any of his blood pressure medications. One other thing is that his sats were only 83% on room air. We don't have to have him on oxygen unless his percentages drop below 80% but when he is at home he usually sats between 87-89%. I haven't monitored him in a while since he has been doing so good. But, when he wakes up I am going to check his oxygen levels on our monitor and see if it makes a difference or not. Also, at this appointment he weighed 19lbs 5oz and was 28.5 inches long.

*Update- His oxygen levels were 88% on our monitor at home*

I take him in tomorrow to get his last synagis (RSV) shot. I am curious to see how much he weighs on their scale. When he got his last shot (4 weeks ago) he weighed 19lbs 3oz. I am hoping that he is gaining more that a couple of ounces in a month. If he really hasn't gained much weight, it could be because he is becoming more physically active. He has been crawling around now for a couple of weeks and easily pulls himself up on anything. So it may be that he is simply burning more calories. I hope that's the case anyway. I hate to think of the alternative which is that is heart is starting to lose function. There are also times in the last couple of weeks where he will breath heavier and faster. He is not in any distress, but he just seems to be winded at times. I mentioned it to the study nurse today and she said not to worry, that it was probably due to him exerting himself more. Regardless, it is something I will definitely keep an eye on.

As part of the drug study that he is in, there will be another sedated echo when he is 14months old as well as a full developmental testing. I will be anxious to see what the results are. I am hoping that his tricuspid valve is doing OK and that his heart function is still looking good. I guess until then, we will just watch and wait. I hate waiting. When anything is even a little off, my mind starts to wander and I just want to know that everything is OK. Overall, his appointment today was fine, it just bugs me that his pressures are up and that he is not gaining much weight (and that his sats are lower than usual but I will double check this before I get too concerned). Both of these things can be explained and fixed but I just want to make sure that nothing is missed and these aren't pieces of a bigger picture. I guess the moral of this story is that you can't get great news all of the time.

I don't want to sound paranoid. He really is doing great for what he has to deal with. I just want to make sure that nothing goes unchecked. Thanks for all of you out there. We appreciate all of the love and support.

---Allison

Rock Star Material?

We were getting ready to go to my parents house yesterday. Gavin had been told to "go get dressed". Well, he comes walking into the kitchen wearing NOTHING but a mismatched pair of my socks with his sandals. I couldn't stop laughing! I HAD to take a picture. I obviously wasn't going to take any compromising photos, so I had him hold the guitar so I could take his picture. Well, he then started "jamming" to no music which made me laugh even harder.

He wanted me to keep taking pictures, so I had him put on some of his underwear. He was really getting into his guitar groove. (Remember, there is NO music playing). He is SUCH a character. You make me laugh Gavin!

By the way, potty training is going great! He has turned a corner and now only wants to wear his big boy underwear and just last night he even told me that he "didn't want to go poo poo in his underwear" and then he walked himself to the bathroom.

---Allison

Happy Birthday Gavin!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Today Gavin turns 3! We had a party for both Gavin and Spencer last night. This is such a fun age for birthdays. Gavin was SO excited to open his presents. He woke up wanting to play with all of them this morning.

Gavin is a one of a kind kid (aren't they all). He is my most physically strong and athletic child. He is very smart, very sweet, very precocious, and VERY busy. When he gets into trouble he just looks at you with those big blue eyes and then flashes you one of his flirtatious little smiles. He knows how to charm you out of a punishment and becomes very offended if it doesn't work. He really looks up to Spencer and wants to do everything that his brother does. Gavin has a very special place in my heart as well as in our family.

Just like I did for Spencer, I created a short montage in honor of Gavin. You can watch this by clicking on the "play" button. The song in the montage was Gavin's "song" when he was just a baby.

Happy Birthday Gavin. We Love You!!

---Allison

A Big Day

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Today is Spencer's 11th birthday. It is also my 12th wedding anniversary. I don't know how it happened (well, I know HOW it happened, but that is not what I am talking about) that Tim and I were married at 1:00pm and 1 year later we gave birth to Spencer at 1:01pm (1 year and 1 minute after we were married, crazy!). But it did happen and now this means that today is a very special day.

So because today is a special day, I just wanted to let you all know how lucky I am to be married to such an incredible man. He is handsome, intelligent, sweet, patient, loving, and supportive (I could go on and on but you probably would get jealous, he-he). Now, I don't have my head in the clouds, I am also fully aware of his not so nice qualities (Love ya stinky!). But the truth is, we compliment each other very well. He knows the REAL me and loves me in spite of my many, many shortcomings. He is an AMAZING man and I am extremely lucky to call him my husband. I love you sweetie!

Also, I am very lucky to have Spencer. He is a grounding force in this family and has always had such a good heart and soul. I made a montage as a tribute to him for his birthday. I don't have a scanner and digital cameras weren't around when he was little. So, there aren't too many small pictures of him. It's really too bad because he was such a CUTE kid. Anyway, if you are interested, you can click on the link and watch his montage.

---Allison

Is Change Good?

OK, so I tried to get a cute template but I can't figure out how to do it without erasing everything from my sidebar (pictures, maps, etc.). In the process of doing this, I messed up the one I had been using. So anyway, by the end of my quest for a cute blog, this is what I ended up with. It is very basic and I am not sure if I like it. So, what I need from all of you is either your opinion or your expertise (or both if you have them). Your expertise would come in handy if you know how to get a new template without having to start all over with the widgets on the sidebar. Your opinion is needed because, frankly, when you visit our page, you have to look at it too. So my options are going back to the original "dots", leaving it how it is now, or finding someone smarter than me. Anyway, please help!

---Allison

Look Who's Big!

Gavin has finally decided that potty training is not the end of the world. A few days ago, Tim had bought him some Twinkies for when he would go potty in the toilet. It did the trick. We don't want him to have more than 1 a day, so I also bought some small treats to motivate him throughout the day. So far, he has done pretty well. Yeah Gavin!!!

Gavin LOVES baths and will do almost anything to have one. On this particular day, it meant having a cold one. He got undressed, found a few toys, and then ran the water himself. He did have the concept of both hot and cold being turned on, however, the hot was not on enough. But by the looks of it, he didn't seem to mind. My little guy is getting too big. I can't believe he turns 3 in just 1 week.

---Allison

He's Almost Crawling

Ethan LOVES to stand up. Just after I took this picture, I set him down on the floor while I left the room and he FREAKED out. As soon as I stood him back up, he immediately stopped crying.

Here he is trying to get up and crawl. He's almost there.

He still prefers to roll around and do the army crawl to get to where he wants to go.

However, sometimes he becomes very frustrated when he gets stuck on all fours.

Keep trying Ethan!

----Allison

He's Up?

Now, I realize that this may not sound like a huge accompishment, but every little milestone just seems bigger with Ethan. I was sitting on my bed yesterday with Ethan at my side when I realized he was sitting next to me. It seemed odd, because had I guessed, I would of said that I layed him down on the bed. Well, of course I had to rule out if I was in fact going crazy or not. So I layed him back down, and sure enough...............he sat up all by himself! I've been trying not to get too concerned with his physical skills but I have to admit that it still has been bugging me that he is not crawling yet. I was relieved to see that he is still developing and is not just in some rut. However, I do think that he will be crawling soon. He gets where ever he wants go by rolling or by a modified army crawl and he has even been trying to pull himself up to a standing position while in his crib. So, maybe he just needs a few more weeks and then I will be wishing he would stay in just one place. Be careful what you wish for, right?

---Allison

A Day At The Park (in February)

We decided that although cold, it was sunny enough yesterday to take Ethan and the kids to the park. Ethan, as you can see, LOVED the swings. He giggled, squealed, and grunted the entire time he was swinging. This is actually one of the first times he's been out of the house this entire winter. We were only at the park for about 10 minutes but it was so nice to feel the sun on our faces. In the 2nd picture you can see Ethan's silly single top tooth. The good news is that just this morning, his 2nd top tooth finally broke through. I am sure he will be feeling much better now. He has been working on that one for quite a while.

---Allison

I Can See The Light!

Last night, Tim stayed home with the kids and I went out to dinner with my friend Jody. I had a GREAT time. The icing on the cake was that on my way home I was able to talk with my friend Carie who just moved to California. I have to say, it was just what the doctor ordered. I can't tell you how much visiting with them filled up my bucket. This winter (and staying cooped up with Ethan) has really taken it's toll on both my mental and physical health. I've gained weight and have had the blues. I have tried to stay positive and keep things in perspective (because believe me, I KNOW what a bad day is like). However, it is hard to stay motivated and get anything done when you feel so isolated. But, with that said, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. The days are getting longer and the weather is slowly getting better. In fact, when I was at work this last weekend, I weighed myself (fully expecting to have gained who knows how much) and was pleasantly surprised to find that I had lost 5 pounds without even trying! (I guess that just goes to show how much I actually have to lose). Anyway, today the weather has been great! I opened my blinds to let the sunshine in and just that alone gave me some energy to try and get the house clean. Now I am not unrealistic. I realize that it is going to take a little bit more than the sunshine to get this house in order, but it's a good start.

Today was Ethan's 9 month check-up and immunizations. It was by far the best check-up we've had thus far. He had a huge growth spurt and weighed in at 19 lbs 2 oz. As far as percentiles go (compared from his visit just last month) he went from the 20% in weight to the 90% and from the 25% in height to the 75%!!!! His head even grew and went from the 55% to 75%. It is good that he grew in all 3 areas because this shows that it is "true" weight and not just "water" weight (which would be a sign of congestive heart failure). I went into this appointment worried that he hadn't been getting enough to eat or that his heart may have not been functioning as well as it should be because I've been noticing that his legs have been looking skinnier. I guess it just turns out that he was just growing (and stretching). He grew 2 inches in this last month. I don't think I will ever stop worrying.

It is so hard sometimes to be a mother of a child with a such a serious and chronic health condition. With all of my other children, I never been nervous about well child visits and in fact, didn't think much of them at all. But with Ethan, I am always nervous that although he may be looking and acting well, that one of these days someone is going to pull the rug out from underneath me and my world will again turn on it's head. I realize that this is my own struggle and doesn't make a lot of sense, but I feel like I constantly have to remember all of the lessons that I learned when Ethan was born or else something bad will happen to remind me. I am SO grateful for Ethan and his progress and feel like I need to continually prove I am worthy to keep him here with me on this earth. In my mind I WANT to celebrate the good days (like today) but I hesitate letting myself get too comfortable with his good health and try not forget that he is sick. Please don't get me wrong. I LOVE it when I forget that he is sick or different from my other children. But I fear that if I get too good at blocking out all of my fears, that God will mistake that as me mastering my challenge and need to give me another one. I completely realize that this is irrational and logically makes ZERO sense but the fact is, is that I would do ANYTHING to keep him here with me and somehow I guess these mind games make me feel like I have some control in this situation. I just need to try and find a balance of enjoying the good days when we have them and yet be realisitic about the cards we have been dealt. I guess I just have to accept that being his mother means that I will constantly worry about him and that I will always feel indebted and blessed to have him in our home.

With all of that crazy talk being said, this week from February 7-14th is the national week for CHD (congential heart defect) awareness. There are so many children and families that have been affected by this disease which can manifest itself in many different forms. With that being said, we are very lucky to be a part of a local on-line support group which gives us encouragement and many people to talk to (who may have the same crazy and conflicting emotions that I have) who have been through many of these same experiences. This is a new group, and although it is growing very fast, it is still trying to get up on it's feet. This week has been full of fundraising by individual members of the group which will go towards helping other families of heart kiddos with meals, gift bags, and supplies while hospitalized as well as to aid in financing a summer camp to meet other families and heart patients within this group. There is a website for this group (http://www.intermountainhealinghearts.org/) which has the ability to take monetary donations (in honor of a specific heart kiddo if desired) to aid in this endeavor. This group is non-profit and is completetly volunteer based by the families themselves of heart children. Any donations would be greatly appreciated and are tax deductible. Please consider (and then make, ha ha!) a dontation.

---Allison

I Love My Weekends!

I love having some weekends off! Since the turn of the year, I have changed my work schedule and I am now only working every other weekend. This is the first time in 6 years that I haven't worked EVERY single weekend (except for special requests). It is so fun to be home with Tim and the kids.

Tim and Emily went on a "date" on Friday night. She and Tim had a fun time going to dinner at her favorite resturaut and shopping for some new clothes. (We told her not to expect the shopping part when she gets older or no one will ever want to take her out on dates.) She then was invited to sleep over at her Grandma Karen and Grandpa Gary's house with her cousin Bailee. They had a great time doing crafts and playing. When she came home on Saturday, she took a LONG nap. I am sure she needed it.

Spencer of course was asking when he and I can go on a date. I think in the next week or so I will take him to a fun Japanese steak house for dinner. He has never been to one and I think he would really enjoy it. He is such a good kid. When Emily was at her sleep over, the rest of us stayed up to watch a movie in my room. Tim fell asleep about 11 o'clock and Spencer and I stayed up to finish the movie. We then were up untill about 1 a.m. just talking about all sorts of stuff. We talked about everything from the importance of good friends to nuclear bombs. I love that he feels comfortable to talk to me. I really think he will grow up to be an honorable young man. He is a special boy.

Gavin is still keeping me on my toes at all times. It was just a few days ago he was climbing on the counters to get a cup and fell off. He fell on his shoulder and got a big bonk on his head when he hit the tile floor. He is fine, however, he also must of hit a cup on the counter on his way down because he has a circle bruise that looks like the ring of a cup brim on his upper arm. He is so fast and strong and I wish that he wasn't such a monkey. I can't wait untill the weather gets warm and I can take him outside to get some of his energy out at the park or riding bikes.

Tim and I are doing really well. The weather has been very cold and Tim's skin is rebelling. I decided to give him a "facial" on Saturday to exfoliate some of the dry skin on his forehead. This was in the form of a scrub and clay mask that he had to keep on until it dried. I of course had to ambush him and take a couple of funny pictures in his green mask. I was very tempted to post the pictures because although he had voiced his disapproval he also promised that he would not be mad. However, after some consideration, I have decided that although it would only be in good fun, I sure do love that man of mine and shouldn't exploit him for a good laugh.......sorry. (I love you Sweetie!)

One of my best friends, Carie, moved to California on Sunday (for a BOY!). We had a going away party for her on Saturday night with a bunch of gals from work. It was so much fun to have a crazy girl's night to send her off (not too crazy, of course). I am sure going to miss her. I have always said that when it comes to my friends, I don't have quantity but I for SURE have quality! (I miss you too Jody!)

So, all in all it was a fun weekend. We went to my parents house last night for the Super Bowl. We ate more than we should of and had a fun time watching the game and enjoying each others company. The only bad thing is that now I am sitting here in a messy house that I have to clean because it didn't get done this weekend. So, off I go. I hope you are all doing well. Have a great week!

---Allison

Just a Few Pictures

One day last week, Gavin got himelf completely dressed. The last time I had seen him he was just in his diaper and then the next time I saw him, he looked like this. He picked out his clothes from the closet, got them off the hangers, and then put them on all by himself. He even picked out his socks from the sock basket and put them on as well. As you can see, they weren't quite matched up yet.



Just a cute picture of Ethan in his swing. Also, I forgot to mention that when he got his RSV shots last Friday he weighed in at 18lbs 12oz. He is getting so big!



I was on the computer yesterday morning when I heard this loud banging sound coming around the corner. It turns out to be Gavin wearing Tim's shoes.

---Allison

It's been too long!

No, we haven't dropped off the face of the earth. Our computer has just been down for the last week. It's been killing me to not be able to write and keep in touch with people. When I make posts I love getting comments because I know people are thinking about us and I don't feel so isolated and cooped up. In turn, I also love to read everyone else's blogs because, again, I feel like there is, in fact, a world outside my home. So needless to say, without my computer, I've been lonely. Tim finally did bring his laptop home from work for me to use in the meantime since this is my only source of "outside" entertainment and socializing (pathetic, I know). There is just not much else I can do until the weather gets better and I can start going outside again with Ethan.

We are all still doing relatively well. Ethan, however, was really grumpy last Wednesday and was just not acting like himself. I had considered that it could be because his 2nd front tooth has been trying to come through and is very tender. He's also had some congestion and a boogy nose for the last week. So being a nurse I always try and trouble shoot things before I just run my kids into the doctor. I listened to his heart rhythm and lungs and they sounded good. I checked his oxygen sats and temperature and they were both good. There was nothing that I could see that would be causing him to be so grumpy and upset. Regardless, I decided to take him in because more than a nurse, I am his mother and I still felt something was not right. I took him in and it turns out that he had a bad ear infection. (This happened about a month ago the last time he had a cold.) We were started on antibiotics and he has been feeling much better. So, again I count my blessings and know that of all the things that can go wrong with these little heart babies, I can definitely handle an ear infection.

Well, Spencer and Emily start back to school in the morning and I am hoping to get the house cleaned and back in order. They won't go off track again until April. They will be off the whole month and we are trying to plan a trip down to Texas. This of course all depends on finances and health, but so far, so good.

I will try and post again soon. Thank you all for your support and interest. I have been truly blessed to have such supportive family and friends. (Jody-call me, I lost your cell #)

---Allison

Teething Again

Ethan LOVES his johnny jump up! He will be in this and just jump and bounce his little (half) heart out for as long as we will let him.

This was taken last week. Gavin LOVES his picture taken. He is such a little poser!

This is Ethan sitting in his swing eating his favorite fruit puffs. I guess you can't see any of them in the picture. He must have eaten them all.

This was taken yesterday while Emily was holding Ethan as they were watching TV together. Emily LOVES to hold and play with Ethan. She is the one who is constantly asking if she can hold him. The moment just prior to this picture is what I was trying to capture. Ethan was snuggled right into Emily's arm and chest and was sitting so still and was so relaxed. It was only when I stood up to get the camera that I ruined the moment and Ethan had to sit up and find out what was going on.

Last night was a very restless and fussy night for Ethan (and therefore myself). His first upper front tooth (on the left) broke through a couple of days ago and he is now working on the other upper front tooth. He also was very stuffy last night and I had to bulb suction him a couple of times during the night and again this morning. I am hoping that his congestion is due to teething. We have all been healthy recently and so I don't know where he would have gotten anything from. Anyway, as always, I will keep a close eye on him and hope it doesn't turn into anything bigger.

The kids are enjoying time off track right now and for the most part have been behaving pretty well. I have been assigning them chores each morning and at that time we also decide what fun thing we would do for the day when their chores were completed. So far this has worked well. It eats up some of the time that if left unstructured, my kids would be running, screaming, fighting, and driving me crazy. It also gives us a guideline for the day and something for the kids to look forward to. I have to mention something Spencer said the other day that I thought was cute. He approached me and asked if when we were discussing the daily jobs for the kids if I could change the term from "chore" to "responsibility", because it sounded nicer. So when I am done with this entry I have to discuss with the kids their "responsibilities" for the day.

Well, I hope you are all doing well.

---Allison

Not Much Happening

Well, as the title reveals, not much is happening in the Curtis household. I've been busy with work this last weekend with my shifts and a couple of meetings that I had to attend, but now I get some time off until my next rotating weekend comes up. The older kids are off track and out of school for the next 2 weeks. I am finally getting motivated to get my house cleaned and my life back in order, but I guess we'll see what the next couple of weeks have in store for me. It might have to wait until the kids go back to school.

Ethan has been staying very healthy. He got over his cold and is doing well. However, I am starting to get worried about his physical development. He hasn't been behind on any normal developmental goals thus far which is a real blessing considering what he has been through. He is now 8 1/2 months and he is not crawling yet. He will sit unassisted where you put him down, but he can not get into a sitting position by himself. He also seems to get "stuck" when he is on his tummy. I realize that his upper body strength has been a little lacking since we haven't had as much "tummy time" due to his surgeries. I've really been trying to work with him but he also is a very relaxed and mellow baby and doesn't seem to have a real drive to push him. He also has the unfair advantage of following Gavin who was scaling furniture at 7 months and full on walking at 10 months. I shouldn't worry too much, I know he will get there. I just hate to see him fall too much behind if there is something that I can do to help him. If any of you have any suggestions, PLEASE share. I would love to hear any ideas or exercises that you may have. (He is also starting to do more weight bearing and loves to be in his "Johnny Jump Up".) He does have another well-child visit in about 3 weeks and I will check with the Pediatrician to see if he is now in need of the Early Intervention program. ( The last time I had inquired about it he was meeting his goals, so I will check again). It is so hard to know what is heart related and what is personality driven. He is doing much better with eating (he has been fairly picky with his flavor choices recently and will throw up if peas even touch his tongue) and is beginning to self feed. He really likes his little star shaped fruit puffs.

Moving onto Gavin, he will be 3 in March and is flat out refusing to go potty in the toilet. He has done it in the past, just not consistently. But now he tells me that he wants to go "poo poo" in his diaper. He will also refuse to say that he is a "big boy" because he knows that the next sentence is that "big boys" go potty in the toilet. He has underwear that we've bought and he's had zero interest in them since day one. We've pointed out that his hero "Hercules" goes potty. And he has also recently seen his boy cousins ( similar in age) wearing "big boy underwear" and then just says that he wants to wear diapers. He is not motivated by treats or rewards. In fact, yesterday morning when I was changing his diaper I asked him if he wanted to try and go potty in the toilet for a fruit snack (which he will usually do anything for). He told me NO! and then did his business in his diaper just a few minutes later. I am not sure if there is some competition with Ethan and that he doesn't want to lose his place as my "baby" anymore? I don't know. Just in case, I did have a talk with him that even when he is a "big boy" he will always be my baby. But this too did not seem to effect his decision. He obviously has a mind of his own and can be fairly stubborn. Again, if any of you have any suggestions than what I've already tried, PLEASE let me know. I am not sure if I should drop the subject completely for a while, keep it mainly on the back burner but continue to offer the toilet as an alternative, or if I should keep working at it and make it a daily issue. Let me know what any of you think.

If nothing else, wish me good luck! Thanks in advance!

---Allison

Updated 2007 Montage

Now I promise I am not going crazy. I realize that I've already posted a montage of our year in 2007. However, when I created it, there were some pictures that I couldn't find and it was really bugging me. I have since found them and so I of course had to update it and change a few things around. Also, (because I am not very computer literate), I didn't want to risk losing both of them when I tried to replace one with the other. So, due to this fear, I now have 2 montages for 2007. If you don't want to watch it again, that's OK, just don't click on the "play" button. I know that you probably won't be able to tell much of a difference. Oh well.

----Allison

New Year's Eve 2007!

This is my youngest sister, and the "baby" of the family, Angela.



This is my brother Neal who is just 14 months younger than myself.



And this is my other sister Karalee with her huband (Cody) and daugher (April).

Well, in keeping with the theme of late posts, I am just catching up from Monday night. We spent the evening eating at my Parent's house with all of my brothers and sisters. We made home made won tons and played Guitar Hero and Rock Band. It was a very fun night of playing and visiting. It was a great way to say good-bye to 2007.

With that being said, I really look forward to what this next year will bring. I don't dare speculate because ANYTHING can happen. As with most people, my goal is to lose some weight. Now that there is no current excuse for my comfort eating, I need to do better at living in the moment and seeking less solace in my peanut M&M's. Also, we have a goal as a family to read the Book of Mormon.

I pray that this year our family and friends will be blessed with happiness and health. Happy New Year!!!!!!

---Allison

Our Family in 2007

We had a beautiful year and we plan on having many, many more.

---Allison

Christmas catch-up

Emily (6) drew this picture in school of Ethan lying in my bed with the caption of what her "Christmas Wish" this year would be. It breaks my heart to see the feelings and fears that my children have to face at such a young age.

I know that this Christmas post is late. It seems that there is never enough time during the holidays to get all that you want accomplished. This Christmas season was no exception.

This year was very different than in years past. It took me a while longer to get into the Christmas spirit, but when it came, (as with most things) it was was well worth the wait. Along with the kids all getting what they wanted, we really tried to focus on our family as a whole this year and bought several "family" gifts in the hopes of spending more time together and creating new and fun memories. This year has been hard for them and we wanted to reward them for weathering it so well. It was fun to see their happy faces.

Aside from the material gifts, we recognize that we have been very blessed this year. This year has been by far the the most difficult and challenging. As a family, we've faced things that I never could have predicted. We've had to talk to the kids about appreciating life and accepting death. There were times that I didn't know how I would make it through the day. I know that as a family, we've all had to make sacrifices and that none of us will ever be the same.

I also know that I would never trade this year for anything! My family is stronger. I am stronger. My marriage is stronger. I have grown in ways that I never thought I could or even knew I needed to. I know what it feels like to be loved and supported by those around me. I know what it feels like to be broken and then to be mended by God's love. Because of this year, I am a better person.

During this Christmas season, I often think about the birth of Jesus and the challenges and ultimate sacrifice that he came here to face on this earth. I think specifically about Ethan and the challenges that he too will face during his journey on this earth. As a mother, my heart breaks when I see my son suffer. My soul is heavy when I wonder how much time I will have with him. It gives me a whole new respect and love for my Heavenly Father who knowingly sent his son here to be sacrificed....I would not be so strong. I know that regardless of how long I will be a mother here on earth, my family will be together forever. I love my husband and every one of my beautiful children. I've never questioned my eternal family, but until this year, I have never fully appreciated it.

There are some gifts that are truly priceless. I love you all! Merry (late) Christmas!

---Allison

Christmas Pics

Gavin couldn't wait to ride on his new "Diego" bike although I am not sure why he is wearing Tim's hat.



All Emily wanted for Christmas was a digital camera. Santa brought her this pink one which she loves. All morning we had to teach Emily camera "etiquette" when she kept trying to take pictures of everyone in their underwear. She wants me to post some of her pictures that she has taken, so watch for those coming soon!



Yes, Spencer received his beloved Nintendo DS. His cousin Katy sent him a game for this system which he opened on Christmas Eve. We told him not to open the game until he found out if he got the system or not so we could exchange it if needed. He was sweating bullets until Christmas morning and was of course pleasantly surprised.



This tent is one of the things that I bought while shopping on-line. It is currently not being used due to it's size but I think it will be fun to play in when the bonus room or yard is finished.



Ethan's first Christmas! Who knew that he would be doing so well. It was probably the best Christmas to date that I can think of. I can't help but be aware of all of the blessings and "real" gifts that we've received.

---Allison